I decided to write a book. Notebook ready, freshly sharpened pencils at hand, I stared at the blank page. How to start? Kneeling before the bookcase, I pulled out a stack of my favorite novels. Book one started with a description of the weather. Book two started with a person’s name. Book three began with a verb. Soon, the first page of my notebook looked like this:

Bk 1 adjective, noun, verb, adverb Bk 2 verb, adverb, noun, noun verb noun Bk 3 noun, verb, adjective, adjective, noun

Which way was the right way? My fourth grade self was confident there had to be a pattern if I looked long and hard enough.

Twenty years later, expecting my firstborn, I sat with a selection of parenting books and searched for a pattern. You probably guessed it. All the same elements all in a different order.

I’m a ducks in a straight row, color co-ordinated, alphabetized and ranked according to size and sound, person. Hand me a list or better yet, ask me to create one, and I’m happy.

Yes, I noticed life doesn’t work that way. Neither does parenting. What worked for my mother parenting me would have caused a disaster with my in-law’s parenting and what worked for our firstborn was ineffective with our second child.

What to do?

My solution was to meet each day, each child, each situation with the same core values and individual prayer.

Did it always work? LOL. Are my children perfect? Not exactly. And yet, I’d approach parenting the same way if I had it to do over.

I’d love to hear how you approached parenting your different children.